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Underworld: WoD- der Film?

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Vandal Savage:
Hier das originale Skript dieses ... Machwerks.
Fängt die Stimmung gut ein finde ich  :d



UNDERWORLD: THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT™

                       By Rod Hilton

FADE IN:

EXT.  POORLY LIT CITY

KATE BECKINSALE is perched atop a huge tower, being very
GOTH.

                   KATE BECKINSALE (V.O.)
            I am a vampire, one of many
            involved in an underground war.
            When not killing werewolves, I go to
            raves that play industrial rock, buy
            new trenchcoats, rip holes in my
            mesh stockings, and post to my
            livejournal.

She spots some WEREWOLVES who are following SCOTT SPEEDMAN,
and CHASES them into the subway.

INT.  SUBWAY

A badly choreographed, horribly shot gunfight ensues.

                       RANDOM VAMPIRE
            Shit! The camera is moving around
            so suddenly and shakily I can't tell
            what's going on!

He is shot with a GLOWING BLUE BULLET.

                       RANDOM VAMPIRE
            Gark! Bury me with my collection of
            Anne Rice novels!
                 (dies)

The gunfight continues, and it is very LOUD and therefore
GOOD. Just when it looks like it might end, it CONTINUES
instead. Eventually, it stops.  KATE goes back to VAMPIRE
HEADQUARTERS.

INT.  BIG GOTH MANSION

KATE BECKINSALE enters the mansion, pushing past a bunch of
VAMPIRES writing POETRY and practicing looking SULLEN.  She
goes to THE WEAPON VAMPIRE GUY

                      KATE BECKINSALE
            Random Vampire got shot with this
            and it killed him.

                     WEAPON VAMPIRE GUY
                 (investigating)
            Wow.  It's daylight, compressed
            into bullet form!

Before the AUDIENCE MEMBERS have time to leave, SHANE
BROLLY enters.

                        SHANE BROLLY
            I am the lead vampire and I'm a son
            of a bitch.  I love you Kate
            Beckinsale, but I also hate you.

                      KATE BECKINSALE
            Sorry, I'm falling for Scott
            Speedman, a human!

She leaves to find him.

INT.  SCOTT SPEEDMAN'S APARTMENT

SCOTT SPEEDMAN enters and is ACCOSTED by KATE BECKINSALE.

                      KATE BECKINSALE
            Why were those werewolves after
            you?

                       SCOTT SPEEDMAN
            Those what?

                      KATE BECKINSALE
            You're caught in the middle of a
            war that has been raging for
            hundreds of years.  The battle is
            between vampires and werewolves, and
            now the werewolves are after you as
            part of their plan to rise up
            against the vampires.

                       SCOTT SPEEDMAN
                 (shocked)
            Oh my god.

                      KATE BECKINSALE
            Surprised?

                       SCOTT SPEEDMAN
            No, I just can't believe you said
            that with a straight face.  I mean,
            holy shit.

Suddenly, MICHAEL SHEEN enters.

                       MICHAEL SHEEN
            I am a werewolf!
                 (bites Scott)
            And now you are too!

There is a brief gunfight that goes nowhere.  Eventually,
KATE and SCOTT escape.

INT.  SECLUDED DOCTOR'S OFFICE OR SOMETHING

KATE handcuffs SCOTT to a chair.

                      KATE BECKINSALE
            I'm sorry.  You will turn into a
            werewolf, so I am doing this for
            your protection.

                       SCOTT SPEEDMAN
            Wait so, for my protection, you're
            handcuffing me to a chair so that
            the legion of werewolves coming
            after me will easily be able to
            capture me because I am unable to
            run.

                      KATE BECKINSALE
            Look, we've spent like an hour of
            this movie just running around
            trying to find people.  I'll need
            you again, let's not torture the
            audience.

                       SCOTT SPEEDMAN
            I think it's too late for that.

KATE LEAVES.

INT.  BIG GOTH MANSION

KATE revives BILL NIGHY, the head vampire.  He looks
FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

                      KATE BECKINSALE
            Oh my god, THIS is the special
            effect for you as you get your power
            back? This is awful.

                         BILL NIGHY
            Kate, you have gone against the
            chain of command in the vamp--

                      KATE BECKINSALE
            Holy crap, have you seen yourself
            talk? Are these scenes supposed to
            be taken seriously?

                         BILL NIGHY
            Get out! You're banished from the
            mansion!

KATE RETURNS to the DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

                      KATE BECKINSALE
            Scott, I've got to get you out of
            here.

SCOTT is captured, so KATE will have to go searching for
him again.  There is a GUNFIGHT and it SUCKS.  Eventually,
everyone winds up in the sewers.

INT.  SEWERS

MICHAEL SHEEN injects SCOTT SPEEDMAN with some crap.

                       SCOTT SPEEDMAN
            So, what the hell is going on it
            here? That other werewolf tried to
            explain it earlier, but his accent
            was incomprehensible.

                       MICHAEL SHEEN
            Shane Brolly, the lead vampire guy,
            has been secretly working with me to
            allow me to find you.  Because of
            some crap about descendants and
            bloodlines, if you are bitten by
            both vampire and werewolf, you
            become a hybrid, which would allow
            us to finally end this war.  The war
            started when Bill Nighly killed my
            girlfriend, his daughter, for being
            with me, because he doesn't want the
            two species to mix.

KATE BECKINSALE arrives.  Also, MICHAEL SHEEN is shot with
a bullet that kills werewolves.

                       SCOTT SPEEDMAN
            Kate! I know how the war started! I
            finally read the script!

                      KATE BECKINSALE
            There's a script? I thought this
            whole movie was the product of
            special effects guys and
            cinematographers.

Suddenly, SHANE BROLLY arrives.

                        SHANE BROLLY
            Hello, Scott.  I have betrayed the
            vampire order specifically so that
            Michael could create the
            werewolf/vampire hybrid, and now
            that it has finally happened, I will
            attempt to kill you, despite the
            fact that such a thing is grossly
            inconsistent with my actions thus
            far.

He does.

                       MICHAEL SHEEN
                 (not dead)
            Even though I was shot with a
            bullet that always kills werewolves,
            I am not dead for some reason.
            Kate, if you bite Scott, it will
            turn him into a cross between a
            vampire, a werewolf, and a member of
            the Blue Man Group.
                 (dies)

She does.  SCOTT transforms into the ULTIMATE RIDICULOUS
CREATURE IN A RIDICULOUS MOVIE.

                         BILL NIGHY
            You are an abomination! I will
            destroy you using my Vampire Geezer
            powers!

They FIGHT.  BILL is about to win when suddenly, KATE
BECKINSALE picks up a sword and jumps to the other side of
the room, nowhere near BILL.  When she lands, she is holding
a perfectly clean sword.

                         BILL NIGHY
            Uh oh.  I hope you didn't do what I
            think you did.  Let me just stand up
            very straight so that I am in the
            very center of the frame..
                 (half of his face slides
                            off)
            Damn! I hate this shot! Why are
            movies doing this all the time now?
            This isn't how it works, people, ask
            a doctor!
                 (dies)

KATE looks at her sword, which now has blood on it.

                       SCOTT SPEEDMAN
            Hooray! Soon the war will be over,
            leaving vampires and werewolves to
            be friends forever more.

                      KATE BECKINSALE
            Let's go buy long velvet
            trenchcoats and listen to The
            Smiths!

END



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Eye Of Gruumsh:
LOL ~;D ~;D ~;D

Gefällt mir :d

Morpheus:
Manche threads wollen wohl einfach nicht sterben...
Aber trotzdem nett ;D

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